Recently, I decided to put my big girl boots on and tell this guy I have been crushing on since last semester that I thought he was attractive and if we he was open to it, I would like to hangout with him.

We hung out, it was very chill, and I really enjoyed myself but that was it. He told me we would hang out again and that he enjoyed my company, but as the week went on, I did not hear from him.

When I asked why his energy shifted, he gave me the excuse we all hate the most: “I’m just really busy.” Of course, he could have limited free time, but it becomes very clear when someone is busy but still wants to spend some time with you and when someone is just using the “busy” card as a nice way to say “I’m good love, enjoy.”

I talked to a few friends about the situation, and I tried to figure out what could have gone wrong that caused my crush to go from “we can hangout on the weekend” to not responding at all.

“You text like you want commitment,” is one of the bogus explanations I received as to why my crush did not want to see me again. When I asked my friend what she meant by this, she stated that by sending long messages and actually being detailed in my responses somehow this equated to me wanting commitment.

Another explanation I received was “you let your corniness show a little too much, he probably thinks you’re weird.” After receiving this feedback I realized that the consensus was that he got turned off by me simply being myself.

When I first thought about the situation, I thought to myself “maybe I was too honest” or “maybe I shouldn’t have been so corny,” but then I realized I should not have to dim my light to make anyone else comfortable.

For years, I have always felt like I have to act and appear to be a certain way when I am getting to know a guy I am interested in, and oftentimes people feel pressured to appear to be what they think the person they are pursuing desires.

“When meeting potential love interests, I used to hide my whole self until later on down the road but that’s always never ended well because now all they see is a stranger when I’m actually just being who I was all along,” senior Simone Williams said, “So now when I’m getting to know someone, on any level, I try my best not to filter myself. If I feel I have to water down my personality for someone else, that’s a personal sign they’re not the kind of person for me.”